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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
So, i was looking at the photos from my vacation in the provence (that's in France, dumbass) and i was wondering how i could get the money together to go again this year. So the choices were, a) working harder or b) prostituting myself c) being a golddigger. I decided on the last one.
My boyfriend's in the money, thank god, so i hope we (and probably another friend) will be travelling to the south of France again in august. I had such an amazing time last year and this time it could be even better, because now a) i don't have a sunburn which last year caused me to wear a burqua everytime the sun would shine b) my boyfriend even has more money c) i'm much more confident; in driving, in love, but also i'm not that scared about that unknown sitituation thing. I fear things i do not know. I have to plan every fucking thing. That's why i always carry an enormous bag and an extra shirt with me everywhere i go.
What if i'm bored? I need a book to read.
What if i smell or get too hot? I need clean shirt.
What if someone asks me something about a certain date? I need my dayplanner.
What if i look awful? I need a hairbrush and a bit of make-up.
What if i'm thirsty? I need money and a bottle of water.
Yes, i tire even myself. Is it a girl thing? A bit yeah. But i know i can be very anal sometimes. I worry too much about unconvenience or strange circumstances and always have to be prepared. It's hard for me to be spontaneous.
So over the last year, i'm trying to be more...loosey. It's working. I can do something fun straight after work without worrying. I can go to France without worrying too much. But maybe that's because were going to the same village....
Posted at 11:05 am by Faye
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Thanks to a friend, i now have to update flog regularly. Too tired for anything really. But when (if?) i have something usefull to say, i'll fill you in.
For now, let's just say i'm working on a novel, still work in a giftshop, and got rejected for two courses (one masters, one just too expensive).
Posted at 02:11 pm by Faye
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Okay....now i have even less time on my hands than when i was in college. So that means no entries for months.
But...finally i have found my own place. So i've been very busy painting, cleaning and decorating my two-bedroom appartment in the centre of Leiden. I think it's gonna be great when i move in monday, but jeez, i'm not moving for a while, can tell you that.
Oh right, does anyone have a spare couch? Preferably a chesterfield, hardihar.
Posted at 09:20 pm by Faye
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Aaaaah, just when you thought it would never happen...it did! A new entry! Praise Jesus!
Well, my excuse probably is that i am suffering from a major post-graduate depression type thingie. Altogether anguish, misery, fear, doubts, grudges, woe is me. I am not to be motivated by anything. Even reading a book is too much most of the time.
I just can't figure out what to do with myself and my life, especially since the new year's resolutions are pouring in from everywhere. Oh my, have i turned into a typical blog-person? Am i lowering myself to a group of people who think blogging IS really journalism? That venting your problems to millions of nerds around the world is really a kind of therapy? NO! The horror!
Thank god i also have a diary like every glasses-wearing depressed girl with brown hair adoring pop culture in all its multimedial facets (no, i really am NOT a unique snowflake). But also i have started a stream of consciousness-type journal about the big bad post-graduate misery (which happens to be handwritten in a Bollywood-covered notebook, thank you very much).
Actually, the depression is getting less heavy every month or so. I'm taking babysteps though, trying to decide one thing at a time: quitting my job in the near future, pondering on the possibilities of following a master's degree somewhere outside of Holland, finding my own place, sending out applications to far-fetched cool jobs, making a trip to somewhere. Its' really too much to take in at once, and i realize that now (finally). I'll probably end up well very soon, but the road there is still so very far.
Thank the lord for daytime tv during my battle against the flu.
Posted at 10:34 pm by Faye
Friday, November 05, 2004
http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/
...and on that note, my alleged Thelma 'n Louise Trip is on hold.
My friend Mieke and me were thinking about going to the US and drive from West Palm beach, Fl, through New Orleans, Fort Worth, Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon to LA and San Francisco, Ca.
Yes, a long trip indeed, but definitely worth it, no doubts about that. For now, though, we're putting our trip on hold till we're sure that it's safe enough. With someone like Shrub ruling the world, who's sure about anything eh? Especially since it is obliged to leave a digital fingerprint at the airport. I oppose this kinds of identification. Big corporate agencies and governamental institutions already know almost everything about me (internet only makes it worse ofcourse), and one of the few things they don't own is my fingerprint and DNA. But not for long though.
To be honest, i didn't have much faith in Kerry either, but anything's better than Bush, in my (and a lot of other people's) opinion.
I will probably be more thoroug in this later. But for now, i'm still battling chronic headaches and the ever-present flu that is lingering in the Dutch air.
Posted at 10:21 pm by Faye
Monday, October 25, 2004
Presidential Race for Keywords
The site with my paper "Mass Communication, Mass Persuasion" about the use of weblogs in the 2004 American presidential elections is more visited now the final day is appraoching. Remarkably though, people are predominantly searching on the keywords "candidates standpoints". It seems that people that are supposed to vote, most of the time don't even know what their candidates are defending. Sure, everybody knows their standpoints on Iraq, but what about the environment, social welfare and economy? Even more remarkable is that these standpoints are quite hard to find on the internet.
For people winding up on my site by simply punching in "candidates standpoints" or the like, visit the official sites of Kerry and Bush, you'll find out more about their visions for a better America there, than on any other site. But be careful, you might be lured by their enigmatic style of writing.
Posted at 10:23 am by Faye
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
In general, dutch movies suck. Most of the time based on a book, dutch movies tend to center around sex and drugs. The two things tourists want to visit Holland for (that is, prostitution and weed are legal to a certain extent). Problem is that most dutchies don't want to be known for these extravagances. If i'm talkimg to someone from for instance England or America, the conversation will eventually lead to him or her saying "Oh right, weeeeeed, You must be high all the time". I don't even think that much people use marijuana or hashish, surely not me, so they should stand corrected. Therefore it is weird that an arftform such as cinema, should focus on the two things dutch people hate to discuss.
Another problem with dutch movies: when they focus around a criminal plot, they do Hollywood. A lot of swearing, a lot of fancy cars and a lot of halfnaked women. Though dutchies do swear profoundly in the big cities (a lot of areas are predominantly catholic or protestant), you can't drive yellow ferrari's in cities that stem from the 1500s. I've just seen 'Van God Los' though, which is loosely inpired by the 'gang of Venlo', a group of mudering criminals in a small town in Holland, that shook the nation. I was really impressed by the acting of Tygo Gernandt (as everybody in the movie biz), but also by the fact that the movie was dutch of character in setting but also in character traits. It was never too Hollywood. The only glitch was that one thinks "This could never happen in Holland" even though it's based on a true cycle of events. But maybe that's just me.
Then we are blessed with a series of films starring dutch soap-actors, made predominantly for teenagers. These movies focus round holidays, contain sex (from the first kiss to finding out you're lesbian), swearing, a lot of drinking, and a lot of partying. Typical teenage behaviour when dutchies are on their holidays. Really something to be embaressed with. Truth is, even though i loathe young dutch people in Salou or Lanzarote, i enjoyed the movies since they are so simple and entertaining. Nothing wrong with some mind-numbing entertainment once in a while, but hardly an asset to the dutch film-industry. It's like sending in 'Saved by the bell' for an Emmy.
The problem with overt sex in dutch movies then. The first movie coming out of Holland making use of that extensively, was 'Turks Fruit' based on a book by Jan Wolkers. Contrary to what i have ranted, i absolutely adore this movie. Wolkers is so extravagant in his use of "dirty" words in his book, that it could not be avoided in the movie. The characters talk about what color their poo is, dance naked in the rain, have sex with numerous amounts of people (and describe it in detail), and all it does is make me smile. And cry at the end ofcourse, because one of the main characters ofcourse has to die. What i therefore think the problem is with all movies that came after it, is that they thought "If 'Turks Fruit' can do it, we can do it". The succes can not be attributed to the director, surely: we gave him to America and let him make 'Showgirls'.
Other typical dutch phenomena such as legal euthanasia and an open stance towards gay relations are subject in the newly released movie, 'Simon'. I have not seen it yet, but i'm really interested in it, since it is the movie we're going to send to the Oscars of 2005. I suspect it will contain a lot of swearing, some extravagant drug abuse, and the occasional sex. Also, the theme of a seemingly strange friendship between a drugdealing white-trash and a yuppie gay is not altogether special, certainly not when one keeps in mind that one will die of cancer. Nevertheless, i am dying to see it.
Posted at 05:56 pm by Faye
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Yo shorty, it's my birthday
Today's my birthday. Didn't sip bacardi though, i've too much of a headache right now.
Yesterday had dinner at a chinese restaurant with my parents, sis and all-over sweetness boyfriend Ruben. Lots of fun, lots of good food and even got a chinese teapot-frog-lotusflower-thingie which is supposed to bring me luck. Unfortunately, it leaks...bad karma, i guess.
This morning i worked till twelve and then spent the day making pictures and eating cake and bruschetta with my friend Solange. At night i watched all the girlies programs on tv (Friends, The Gilmore Girls and Sex and the City) and now i'm again left with the feeling that i want to live in or near New York, be an independent cool woman with lots of friends, drink lots of coffee, wear neat designer clothes and wisecrack with my daughter. Or maybe not.
This was my goal for the day actually: just eat way too much, have fun, lie on the couch and end the night with a book in bed. This weekend i'll probably celebrate my 22nd in a bar. More gifts, more gifts, more gifts!!!
Posted at 10:33 pm by Faye
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Finally! Yesterday i officially graduated from the 3-year bachelor programme of Theatre, Film and Television sciences at the University of Utrecht. Received a diploma and all that, and threw a small party.
After i knew that i was gonna make it in June, i actually wanted to go on with the master's programme at the same university, one called Film and Television sciences. When i was accepted and had an introduction in July, i decided that the programme was shit on a stick and i didn't want to go through with it (like i have written in an earlier post called "Life under construction").
For now, i'm just working some extra shifts at the part-time job i have now for over 4 years. It's a gift shop in the centre of Leiden and the people i work with a real good friends, but lately it seems that i have to find something new. But for now, i don't want to think too much about future careers. I just want to relax and save some money for a trip.
I stumbled across a master's programme at the University of Amsterdam, though, called "Preservation and presentation of the moving image". I immediately was psyched, because what it entails is really one of the things that has interested me in my bachelor's programme. To work in an archive or a museum is one thing, to organize a film festival another, but these are two things i would really like to do as a professional (next to doubling my fortune to a couple of million dollars ofcourse).
Since only 15 students are accepted per year, it will be hard to apply. Still, i want to give it a shot, and in the meantime i'll search for other master programmes and other jobs.
Posted at 12:48 pm by Faye
Monday, September 06, 2004
Just last year i read an article about the "Frida" movie that was to be released. A short biography about Frida Kahlo that the writer incorporated into the text made me curious. Luckily, the release of the movie enhanced an exploision of a Kahlo-cult, with books and documentaries available almost everywhere. Having read the biography by Hayden Herrera (on which the movie was based), i became a "fan" and admirer. A few months later and i have read Frida's diary, have a picture book and have aspirations to go to Mexico. Most of all, i want to go there to see the houses in which she lived during her childhood and during her marriage(s) to Diego Riviera.
But the obsession does not end there. Suddenly my room is brightened up with all kinds of little mexicana-stuff: candles with jesus on it, little mexican wrestling action figures, and all sorts of crappy stuff Frida would have liked. Mix that with film memorabilia and you go loco.
Then i discovered the music of Chingon, Robert Rodriquez's band and the paintings of George Yepes. It's a slow progress, but i'm increasingly interested in a country that hasn't crossed my mind as a place of interest just two years ago.
Maybe it's the brightness of colors, or the uplifting music. The notion that it's a country where the lines of poverty and richness are so strict and to be seen on every street corner. Maybe it's the richness of it's history.Or the way they have such a strong belief in their religion. But maybe it's just the way the people can make such music and art even though the circumstances are terrible. I'm not a religious person, but the way they cling on to their religion, music and art is something to be admired.
So, coming year i'll try to save some money, so i can make a trip to the country i have gotten to like...a lot.
Posted at 01:06 pm by Faye
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